oh good job look what you made I knew you could do it I so proud of you.
She might be too tiny to see in this photo, but my Little Puppy is clearly carrying my mom around on his right shoulder. He’s mimicking Nacky’s constant stream of affirmation when she plays with him. These words are calling into being his great big about to be three year old self who tries very hard to build towers that won’t fall, put his own socks on, and make toaster waffles with no help. His little affirmations are sometimes even good at holding at bay his toddler-baby self that wants mommy to feed him his oatmeal and screams and kicks when Maisy is over.
I’m struggling to birth this preschooler into being. My older child chased after each milestone at breakneck speed. I’ve had to learn to teach this child to talk, to walk, to feed himself. Lots of things have come naturally to L.P. – climbing, jumping, baseball, but those strengths have run ahead of us as other things have lagged behind, things very valuable to me and society like language and patience.
Tantrums at bath time are as common now as they were 6 months ago, but last night I did something new and it was Shiny. I filled the tub and let him do the rest, all the rest. He doesn’t like being messed with, diaper changes, bath time, struggling into a coat. It’s as though he feels victimized, indignant. My life with L.P. as a toddler is so different than it was with Thinker; I need a new brain, new thoughts, new mommy game.
As I was struggling to articulate our method of handling this little puppy to my sister in law, she put it very succinctly: he’s a river, try to let it flow, damming up the river is a bad idea. It’s true; if you put the breaks on this kid, all you get is a scream-fest. All my work as his mother is along the banks of the river, redirecting his wayward, willful course, un-damming things that were blocked by life and circumstance, and bringing all together as he flows his sometimes merry way.
Everything you’ve described here reminds me so very much of Bub. I think the tantrums are related to the language acquisition: if you’re unsure of the language, the world must be a strange, unpredictable place – no wonder they feel the need to react against sudden, inexplicable demands. I like your SIL’s metaphor of the river. So many things are easier now with Bub because I can give him space to consent to what’s going on. If he’s reluctant to get out of the tub, I say, “Why don’t you pull out the plug?” (I’m amazed, actually, that that one works – and it doesn’t always.) At bedtime now, I say, “Are you ready for me to shut the door?” And when he is, he says so.
Everything you’ve described here reminds me so very much of Bub. I think the tantrums are related to the language acquisition: if you’re unsure of the language, the world must be a strange, unpredictable place – no wonder they feel the need to react against sudden, inexplicable demands. I like your SIL’s metaphor of the river. So many things are easier now with Bub because I can give him space to consent to what’s going on. If he’s reluctant to get out of the tub, I say, “Why don’t you pull out the plug?” (I’m amazed, actually, that that one works – and it doesn’t always.) At bedtime now, I say, “Are you ready for me to shut the door?” And when he is, he says so.
Oh sweet Little Puppy. He is a river. I can’t wait to see him this summer!You know mine must be more like a babbling brook…going with the flow is good for her too. She loves to wash herself now too.And do just about everything and anything I will let her do herself.Ofcourse she narrates more like the Thinker did. She will get along so nicely with them both because she has pieces in her that connect with both of them. It’s so fun seeing these little ones grow!I love the positive Naki talk that L.P. is doing. 🙂 Sounds like the year of 3 will be very good for him.
Oh sweet Little Puppy. He is a river. I can’t wait to see him this summer!You know mine must be more like a babbling brook…going with the flow is good for her too. She loves to wash herself now too.And do just about everything and anything I will let her do herself.Ofcourse she narrates more like the Thinker did. She will get along so nicely with them both because she has pieces in her that connect with both of them. It’s so fun seeing these little ones grow!I love the positive Naki talk that L.P. is doing. 🙂 Sounds like the year of 3 will be very good for him.
My three-year-old is a screamer when you curb him. My two-year-old is a ICANDOITMYSELF addict. While I’m happy to see my younger one grow independant, I struggle with her older brother’s dependance on me. Then throw in my free-agent 6-year-old son and I’m really confused.
My three-year-old is a screamer when you curb him. My two-year-old is a ICANDOITMYSELF addict. While I’m happy to see my younger one grow independant, I struggle with her older brother’s dependance on me. Then throw in my free-agent 6-year-old son and I’m really confused.